Sunday, September 25, 2011
(Zultan's) Fearless Football Predictions for Week Six: Big Ten Plus
Zultan was a whisker away from being perfect this past Saturday, but the football gods conspired against the surly seer, banishing his chance for glory by making players drop and fumble the ball and generally hand victory over to the opposition.
Zultan has made certain there is no repeat of those hideous errors this week. He will reveal his secret only to those who are worthy.
Zultan correctly picked seven out of 10, or 70 percent for you math-challenged souls. Overall, the all-seeing one is 31 of 41, or 76 percent, for the season. Because they sorely disappointed Zultan, the seer cast a spell on Minnesota, Purdue, and Georgia—they shall rue the day they disappointed an unforgiving Zultan.
This week Zultan finds the crystal ball murky—the future remains obscured. He is troubled that a handful of lucky guessers outdid the mighty one this past week. Zultan is amused by their pitiful picks—wondering how many others will pit their puny predicting powers against a groggy Zultan, still the Big Ten Seer for the ages...
1. Miami of Ohio at Northwestern
Zultan sees the Red Hawks soaring but falling short at Northwestern this Saturday. The Miami of Ohio team has lost their last five games and even though their coach says they are improving, Zultan must wonder—at what? Northwestern should accept this gift and prepare for far worse company in the near future.
2. Michigan State at Illinois
Zultan wonders if Michigan State turned their season around. Did Illinois hit rock bottom and will now rebound out of the Big Ten cellar? Zultan opts for the first option because Michigan State has more weapons in their arsenal.
The Spartans actually have a defense that can stop the other team from scoring. Illinois needs retooling in that department—after all defense wins games. This is why Illinois shall remain winless next week in the Big Ten.
3. Purdue at Minnesota
Both of these teams disappointed Zultan last Saturday, turning the ball over and over until victory was impossible. This week, Zultan has (anonymously) sent stick-em to Minnesota so their players can hang onto the ball.
For Purdue, there is no remedy. They have attracted the “no luck” genies and life will continue to be difficult for the “bad news” Boilers. Minnesota will take this one at home.
4. Eastern Illinois at Penn State
What can you say about this one “Patsy Alert?” Zultan likes the no-brainer, but it does nothing to promote Penn State. Penn State blows out Eastern Illinois at home—as they should.
5. Indiana at Virginia
This is where the crystal ball lacks clarity. Both teams have shown real promise but have struggled to win. Indiana should win this one because they are the better team but Zultan will pick home field advantage over “should have” as any smart person would do. The Cavaliers will not be cavalier about this contest.
They win it at home.
6. Wisconsin at Ohio State
The Badgers can say good-bye to their undefeated season this coming Saturday. In the Horseshoe reality will bite back hard. Minus several body parts, the Badgers will limp home to salve their wounds.
Ohio State is on a mission this year—just like in every other year—to end, not only on top of the Big Ten, but on top of the nation. The Badgers are stepping stone No. 6. Ohio State wins this one convincingly.
7. Michigan at Iowa
This is the piece de resistance. Iowa vs. Michigan is the game of the weekend with all the big boys in town to cover the action. What more incentive does either team need? Iowa and Michigan will come out with both barrels blazing.
It is just that Iowa has more kick, more defense plus an ever-improving offense. Too many weapons for the Wolverines. That and the game is in Iowa City. Granted, home field advantage has not exactly spurred the Hawkeyes to shine—but expect them to win this one at home in Prime Time! "Are You Ready for Some Football?!"
8. Florida at LSU
Last week LSU cost Zultan a much-needed win by defeating the Georgia Bulldogs in the fading light. This week they host the number one ranked Florida Gators. The question is can Florida win with Tim Tebow or more than likely can they win without him? At this point, no one can say.
Florida is fundamentally a better ball club than LSU. But this game is being played on LSU’s home field. Regardless, Zultan will pick the Gators to win on the road because LSU is overrated, again.
9. Baylor at Oklahoma
You think Oklahoma is going to take kindly to being upset by the Miami Hurricanes last week? Zultan seriously doubts it. The Baylor Bears are going to be mauled by the Sooners.
As Oklahoma waits for their injured quarterback, Sam Bradford, to return, they have other problems to solve. Their defense left them vulnerable last week. For this week, it isn’t lucky being a bear.
Oklahoma will win big at home.
10. Oklahoma State at Texas A & M
This one is a toss-up. Zultan just threw a dart at the board and luckily it stuck. The No. 15 ranked Oklahoma State Cowboys are playing on the road with key players injured. They did have last week off which may have helped in the injury department but no one knows because the coach tells nothing. The Aggies have the No. 1 ranked offense in the Big 12.
But they have some weaknesses that Oklahoma State will expose. When in doubt—pick the home team. Zultan loves the Aggies to upset the Cowboys who are leaving home for the first time.
For some reason Zultan is being challenged and bested. Last week five soothsayers with superior prognostication abilities surpassed the mighty Zultan at the finish line.
Lucky Terry Nelson from Dodgeville, Wis., was the leader for the week as his only miscue was picking Purdue over Northwestern. Add to that David Eck from Cedar Falls, Iowa; Phillip Murphy from Muscatine, Iowa, and Jeff Coffey from Columbus, Ohio (along with one entry that didn’t include a name), all who finished with an 8-2 mark and you have five very psychic people, to have been right more often than Zultan.
Make sure you test your powers this week to see if you can “Top the Zultan.” Click here to register your picks. Zultan will honor you with faint praise and a chance at a prize if you outguess him.
Ever since the plate in his head has stopped throbbing, Zultan feels certain that no one will surpass him this week...stay tuned.
Published October 7, 2009 by JA Allen